So we looked at that Vibe tonight...

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck) 09/25/2015 at 00:49 • Filed to: dealership

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It was my first dealership experience. And I have to say, it was everything the internet warned me about, except maybe even more surreal.

First, the guy took us to where there non-Hondas were stored (Honda dealership), and he couldn’t find the Vibe, so while he was “looking” for it, he took us on a slow tour of the lot pointing out other cars that we could buy. “What’s your budget?” “What’s your budget?” “Do you like this car?” “Oh so you like the Vibe, so you like sedans?” A HATCHBACK IS NOT A SEDAN! “We can do payments!” “We have a lifetime warranty!”

After the 15th, “No thanks, I just want to see the Vibe as we discussed,” we were sat in the sales office while he tried to figure out where it was. Turns out it was hidden out behind, as the car had not been detailed or inspected yet. Yes, they had the car listed for sale online but had to explain to me I couldn’t buy it yet if I wanted to (Carfax, recalls, etc.... and probably shoddy detailing. More on that later).

So after all that bull, we finally got to look at it. There was a large scrape in the rear bumper that was edited out of the online photos, and a nice golf ball dent in the driver’s door that also appears to have been glossed over. And the paint on the hood was atrocious. Bald specs all over the front end. Yes it had high miles, but the paint on our Sable and pickup are in much better shape.

We weren’t allowed to drive it (because above reasons), but we could sit in it, and start it, etc. The seats were in really great shape I must say. My wife loved the interior. That is only positive thing I have to say. Now back to the truth: we start the car. It is loud. Like, not exhaust loud, but like, concerning loud. Not well serviced loud. The interior lights took 5 seconds to turn on after I switched on the lights. And low and behold: the radio was also trashed. Here is what it should look like:

On the Vibe we sat it, the radio was backlit with red lights. Well, the plastic on all the buttons was completely rubbed off, so everything was an unlabeled giant red button. Not on that, but the screen was broken. Remember when you were a kid, and you’d push down really hard on the screen of a calculator to get the black blobs and rainbow colors? That was this radio.

And after all that, here was the icing on the cake. I push the AC button. It springs back but the little bulb does not illuminate. I press it again. Nothing. I feel for the vents. Clearly not working. That’s right. This was a “just needs a recharge” air conditioned car. My wife looked at me and said, “I think we’re done here.”

I tell the salesman thank you for the help but we will be moving on. On our way to our car he is chasing us, talking nonstop, talking about other cars on the lot, like the other Vibe he has for triple the price. I say no, thanks, another dozen times, and then he tries to corale us towards said other Vibe, and I say, goodbye. He also reminds me that the price on the orange Vibe is negotiable! Ohhhh really? Thanks for that startling revelation. I wouldn’t pay $1000 for that hunk of crap.

For the record, they were asking $5k. 196k miles, no working radio, no AC, dents, scratches, paint chips everywhere, on an 12 year old Vibe. I planned to offer 3500 cash if we liked it, but yikes. $5k is not our budget, for the record, but it doesn’t hurt to look at some cheaper ones. Or maybe $5k just ain’t what it used to be.

I have a feeling this is going to be a process. I miss private sellers already!

TheHondaBro > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/25/2015 at 01:01

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You sure it wasn’t this guy trying to sell you the Vibe?

“Yeah, you like that Vibe, don’t you? You get a vibe from that Vibe, don’t you?”

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > TheHondaBro 09/25/2015 at 01:04

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It was actually more like this guy

GTRZILLAR32-Now saving for Godzilla and a condo > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/25/2015 at 01:05

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Sounds like the sort of sketchy dealer that over allows on trade to make the customer feel like they are getting a deal (they make up for it elsewhere). This post does upset me though, because I work as a salesman at a dealership and stories like this just reinforces people's distrust. If that car was on my lot I would tell you that it was a unit destined for auction and give you some similar options.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > GTRZILLAR32-Now saving for Godzilla and a condo 09/25/2015 at 01:15

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It’s not the end of the world that the car itself was junk. It’s not different than private sellers in that regard. But the service just was very unpleasant and poor. Really: listing a car you can’t even technically sell yet, that you haven’t inspected yet, and the whole ignoring everything I said thing... Perhaps the next dealership will be better. I mean one of them has to be. We need that car soon.

Tohru > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/25/2015 at 01:23

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Is it a Vibe specifically that you want, or just a FWD car? Because I’ve got a Bonneville I’d let go for a grand to an Oppo. It looks rough, but it’s reliable. AC works, aftermarket radio, it’s a bit loud because I need to replace the exhaust gasket at the catalytic converter. Being a GM of the era, paint is a weak point (as you can see on the roof).

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Tohru 09/25/2015 at 01:28

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That’s a fine honest American sedan. But this is for the wife, and it has to be a hatchback, specifically a Vibe, Matrix, or 3. Though she is apparently considering the xD too.

Ultimately, she said I can choose the vehicle for her, but it would not improve my sex life to bring home a sedan.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/25/2015 at 01:28

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“5k$ ain’t what it used to be”

Ooooooohhhhhh no, that dealer is just being a stealership. Here’s a 2002 focus in good condition for 2800 listed

Here’s a Lincoln Aviator (baby Navigator) for 4000$ . Yes, a luxury body on frame SUV for 4000$ that will probably be a solid buy for a daily utility hauler.

Here’s a 2002 CRV ready to go for 3500 and you could probably talk him down to 3000 even. Maybe even 2800 if you pushed and waited.

I think vibes and matrixes are overpriced slightly due to how good they were. THat was a damn well thought out vehicle. But 5k gets you into any number of different machines in the past 10-15 years. No need to settle for some busted up hunk of junk like they were pushing on you.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 09/25/2015 at 01:35

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Matrixes (Matricies?) are waaay overpriced! That’s why I was leaning towards the vibe to begin with. A less expensive Matrix. Although second gens are still almost as expensive.

I bought my truck for 1k. I bought a Tercel wagon for 350. She bought her Sable for 3 grand. I know there are good deals out there, but there aren’t many Vibes for sale in spite of the fact I see them absolutely everywhere everyday and two of my neighbors own one. And Mazda 3s? Either no one sells them or they’re bought immediately.

I’m sure with patience I will find what I need.

CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/25/2015 at 01:35

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The Matrix I have right now ran for 5600 (should have talked him down lower had I known it was crashed once) but the Delphi stereos are known to become a sea of red with no labels. The vibe/trix seats are pretty good, but a good steam cleaner reassures no human filth.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) 09/25/2015 at 01:37

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Oh, so I can possibly expect the same stereo flaw from other Vibes/Matricies? That’s what my wife was worried about. Never seen anything like it. The buttons in any car I’ve owned have never done that. The white text may fade, but not the fucking entire button! buhhhhh

CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/25/2015 at 01:41

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This is mine, with the 6 cd dash (which I’m contemplating removing, because I can’t modify this for aux and the GPS makes nasty ticking sounds). Mind you, this is a 13 year old car. I recommend a head unit be replaced with something less Delphi.

Dunnik > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/25/2015 at 01:45

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Well, for your first dealership experience I think you did really well, obviously.

I find that a great way to cut through the BS is to, basically, call them on the first instance of it. Once they know they’re dealing with an Oppo they usually change their tune.

To wit: accompanied a friend to look at a couple 7th gen Civics at a local hole-in-the-wall used car lot (you know, the kind with a trailer). Didn’t take long for the dealer to say, “So, you’re the car guy?” and ask me if I was a mechanic (I had my Mechanix gloves on me). We tell him we’re interested in a couple Civics in his inventory. I ask where he got them, auction? Wholesale from a Honda dealer where he used to work, “Oh nice,” I say.

We ask to check the cars out. He points us to the back of the lot, asks his helper/car jockey/gofer to assist us, and otherwise just leaves us to it.

Both Civics were in rough shape and worth maybe half of what he was wanting ($3000). We walk, but before we do I send my friend in solo to tell him thx but no thx, wants way too much. My friend comes back to the car and says “He offered $1200”. I laugh.

TLDR: Knowledge is power on a dealer’s lot.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/25/2015 at 01:46

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Sometimes sacrifices must be made.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) 09/25/2015 at 01:51

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*screams in terror* Thanks for the help!

Dunnik > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/25/2015 at 01:51

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You’re right to focus on the Vibe (though anything with a 3800 SII in it is fine by my book). Matrix with a Pontiac badge, but not everybody knows this and so the price is lower compared to the Toyota.

And btw, all Pontiac headunits of that era have rubbed out buttons at this point. Factor in a basic single-DIN headunit into your price.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/25/2015 at 01:57

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Mazda 3s are very rust prone (classic mazda.....) so be careful near the snow belt.

Amoore100 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/25/2015 at 02:06

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Wow! I wish you luck in your search...for the record, my V50 was bought 2 months ago from a private seller for $4500, a 10 year old car, super powerful a/c, runs like a dream, full service records from the previous owner, a bit of wear and tear as expected from 150K miles, half probably with young kids, but overall pretty nice for the price...I would say go to private sellers if you can because stealerships can be even sketchier oftentimes...

Sam > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/25/2015 at 02:17

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If that’s what you’re in this for, you need a wagon.

GTRZILLAR32-Now saving for Godzilla and a condo > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/25/2015 at 07:37

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Our dealership is the same way because our website is connected directly with our inventory. It is annoying because things like what happened to you occur, it’s also annoying because it shows all of our new car inventory that is currently being delivered as “here”. Unfortunately, car buying is an imperfect practice.

Rico > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/25/2015 at 08:29

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What a strange time to be alive when buying a Pontiac Vibe will improve someone's sex life

Ty5447 > Tohru 09/25/2015 at 10:50

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My wife and I sold her Bonneville of the same body style earlier this year. The car was in great shape mechanicaly with tons of receipts, but the paint was falling off and that stands out really badly on a white car. It took months to sell it and I think we got $1000 for it.

TheJMan92 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/25/2015 at 10:56

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I’ll just be in the background chanting “3, 3, 3” until you post about the new-to-you Mazda 3 you just bought. It shall happen.

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/25/2015 at 12:58

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Which Honda dealership?

Tohru > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/25/2015 at 14:22

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Sedans ruin the libido of wives? I thought it was just wedding cake that did that.

Tohru > Dunnik 09/25/2015 at 14:25

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The buttons were so rubbed out on mine that it didn’t even have a head unit.

Tohru > Rico 09/25/2015 at 14:27

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“You bought me a rebadged Toyota hatchback? Take me now, you hot-blooded sex machine!”

Tohru > Ty5447 09/25/2015 at 14:35

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I honestly may just end up keeping it. It’s an odd combo of dead nuts reliable and absolutely worthless.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Spaceball-Two 09/25/2015 at 17:16

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You might say it’s phonetically like a rather famous brand. Like Calvin... hmm gee what was that last name again...